The Talent CoNORMdrum and how it might be stopping you from reaching your full potential

Talent is an exalted trait, especially in our modern media-driven culture. We are surrounded by child stars, gifted athletes and all kinds of “naturals”. People who seem to have been gifted by the gods. People with talent.

We hire talent and desire talent. And admittedly watching a master perform can be a transcendent experience, whether that performance happens on a stage, in a stadium or a studio. But mastery and talent are not the same. There is a huge space in between.

Talent is deceptive. And by itself, is never enough. In the words of mega-best-selling author Stephen King...

Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work.

Stephen king

We all know at least one person who has so much “talent” but does not end up doing well in life. These people make us scratch our heads in wonder. They might be a co-worker, a family member or a friend.

For me, it was my classmate Norm.

Not your average kid

Growing up, Norm was your classic gifted child. He was well versed in Einstein’s theories long before most people his age were versed in Dr. Seuss. When Norm took the SATs, he scored in the 98thpercentile. That is, he did better than 98 percent of people who took the test that year. Last I heard of Norm? He was in his early 30s, lonely, jobless and drifting. No family, no stability, and ironically not one completed credential. He had bounced from institution to institution never completing a degree.

Now, I know that the genius who-never-really-liked-school dropout, who followed their passion and becomes a billionaire, with a private jet and a private island, is a sexy pop culture archetype. But keep in mind—you only hear about the minuscule fraction who make it to the cover of Entrepreneurs Digest. There are millions of others who fail. Nobody interviews them. And they are not "Influencers" on social media.

It saddens me to think that my friend Norm might fall into that pile. All the talent and natural ability he possesses make it even harder to accept. I mean, how could someone so smart and talented make such a mess of it all and fall so much lower than his potential? This is what I now call the conormdrum.

And the answer, I believe, lies in a simple but deeply insightful statement a mutual friend – Tye – made about Norm while we were in Uni.

The cycle of understanding

You see, we were all keenly aware of how incredibly smart Norm was and how much he had going for him. But we were all also painfully aware of how he had failed to really make the most of it. His grades, though not poor by any means, were not really matching up to his abilities. He was tardy and when he did show up, was often unkempt and aloof.

In one of those discussions friends have about other friends—yes, we were discussing not gossiping… I think, Tye said evenly:

Norm’s problem is that he wants his environment to understand him, instead of trying to understand his environment.

We all fell silent. We could immediately see how true this was. Norm was too talented to be useful. On a deeper level, I suspect he felt his talent was good enough to see him through. He never learned to play the game because he did not like the rules.

But you can’t win the game if you don’t play it. And even if you want to change the game—like many visionaries have—you still need to first understand it. And play it. Only then can you have useful insight (“in”-sight) to change it, or at least bend the rules.

What is your conormdrum?

Norm’s story continues to challenge and inspire me. He has become yet another anti-mentor in my life. His story makes me ask what aspects of my life am I under-performing in in spite of having been blessed with enough ability to do very well. It is easy to point to the Norms in our life and shake our heads in disappointment or, worse, disdain. But the truth is we all have something we can naturally do better than most—something we struggle with less than most to apprehend. But why are we not excelling in that thing? And if we are, could we be doing better?

The answer might not be the same as Tye’s answer for Norm,but it is an answer definitely worth finding out.

Until then, be your best and do your best.