Master storytellers think differently - 3 Mindsets you can adopt to improve your storytelling

It is a cold dark September night in the year 7050BC. We are huddled around a campfire in a musty cave on the grassy plains of the Serengeti. The cool air funnelling through the tunnel-opening flows over our coarse, rawhide aprons. We shuffle close to the fire for more warmth. There are 15 of us in our band chattering playfully. With smacking lips and slurping sounds, we finish the last few morsels of juicy berries, mangoes and succulent roast antelope. And then, right on cue, the big, burly figure of Mbata clambers up and gestures to the etchings on the cave wall. One by one we all come to a hush. You see the reflection of the restless fire in your young cousin’s eyes as he, in rapt attention, fixes his gaze on Mbata. All is silent now. Then you slowly turn to the large, bear-like leader of the band standing erect, his shadow dancing gently on the cave walls as he, with a low but strong booming voice begins…“Once upon a time…”

Storytelling - the ancient art of persuasion

We know that long before science gave us charts, graphs and data, humankind has used storytelling to influence each other – and we still do today. Therefore, storytelling is perhaps, the most persuasive communication device available to you as a speaker. This is partly because stories are how we, as humans, naturally make sense of the world. In psychology, this phenomenon is called a narrative bias. That is, we tend to believe an explanation or representation of reality if it is presented to us in the form of a story rather than as cold, sterile and discrete facts. Therefore, mastering storytelling is an invaluable skill for anyone in the business of communication and persuasion.Master storytellers know this. Master storytellers treat storytelling as a tool and use it to increase influence whether that be on stage, in the boardroom, at the bar or at baby’s bedtime.This article introduces you to an important aspect of successful storytelling – the mindsets of successful storytelling - so that you too can begin to harness this persuasive power. Let us begin.

Why Mindsets?

As with all things – especially communication – the mindset forms the foundation. Methods and mechanics work best with the right mindsets oiling the gears. And the wrong mindset can sabotage even the best and most sincere attempts at improvement. I know this is definitely true of my experience with speakers.

Methods and mechanics work best with the right mindsets oiling the gears.

In my coaching practice, I have found that most of my clients have enough interesting life experiences to find excellent stories they can use to enhance their messages. They, however, struggle with their mindsets when it comes to storytelling. In other words, they approach storytelling wrongly. This holds them back. Maybe it is holding you back as well.For powerful persuasive story-telling, there are 3 key mindsets to adopt in order to prepare and deliver effectively. Let us begin with the most fundamental.

The Social Mindset

Historically, stories have been told in social settings. Think about soldiers trading war stories or elders regaling the youth in the village square. Or even just a night out with friends. You will see that storytelling is inherently social. Yet many stories you hear told from the stage by many speakers are the opposite – they are self-centred and the delivery is not inclusive. Therefore the audience struggles to relate and engage. Speakers fall into this trap because they do not intentionally craft or deliver their story to create a bond with the audience. Good standup comedians are masters at telling powerful, socially optimized stories. They have to be. Otherwise, their jokes would not land. This is because laughter is also inherently social!

...a good story is observed by the audience, but a great story is experienced by the audience.

Here is the key question to ask yourself as you craft your story: How do I make my story, our story? That is, make it the audience's story too. Remember, a good story is observed by the audience, but a great story is experienced by the audience.Keeping this in mind will help you greatly when choosing what to emphasize as well as what to leave out or gloss over. It will also affect how you tell the story and the framing of the points you use the story to make. Speaking of how you tell the story brings us to the next key mindset.

The Performance Mindset

The word storytelling is itself, rather misleading. It gives the impression that all you are doing is speaking the story. The term, should, in my opinion, be called story-performing. Let me explain.Stories that hold our attention and captivate our imagination are not just told, they are performed. Political speeches are performances, so are sales presentations; project updates are performances and keynote presentations are… you guessed it, performances. The type and degree of performance will vary based on the situation. In one, you might find it appropriate to only go so far as to use pregnant pauses and facial expressions with moderate gestures (think formal, business project updates). And in another, you might want to employ huge voice variations, a few theatrics and grand gestures. Think keynote speeches and, yes, even some political speeches.

PerForm, not PoorForm

Now, to be sure, this is not about baboonish behaviour or bamboozling the audience. It is important to consider what degree and kind of performance is appropriate given the context. And it is assumed your stories are true, and if not, that this is understood by the audience.  The point here is that storytelling is about drawing the audience into the story to create an experience that leads to change. And this drawing in is what a performance mindset helps you to achieve. It begins with a mental shift to see yourself as a performer. A competent, intentional, ethical and goal-oriented performer, but a performer nonetheless.

Ordinary stories are told, great stories are performed.

Of course, you don’t have to perform your stories. You can always stand there with limp limbs and flaccid face and rattle out a placid anecdote or two. But be aware that the odds are that your “story” will make little to no impact and will be quickly forgotten.The key point? Ordinary stories are told, great stories are performed. And rather than resist this, master storytellers embrace it and adapt their performance to the situation to get the right results.And this brings me to the last mindset of persuasive storytelling, vulnerability.

The Vulnerability Mindset

What is the single most common factor that I have found has held many people back from becoming the best speakers they can be?First, let's talk about public speaking apprehension.

The many shades of PSA

Public speaking apprehension (PSA) is an academic term for the very real and unacademic fear of public speaking. This fear plagues most people. The mere thought of standing in front of the room to address 3 or more people makes them shudder. But many people think that you either have PSA or you don’t.  The reality is there are degrees and shades of PSA. With some practice, most people are able to overcome the obvious, embarrassing, knee-knocking, sweat-fetching, trachea-tightening, pitch-raising and hand-quivering form of PSA. But this is only one form.Once a speaker begins to get more accustomed to public speaking, they face a new form of PSA – one whose roots go deeper but is founded on the same basic fear of rejection. These speakers show the fear of vulnerability.  That is, they are willing and able to get up and speak, but they assume a defensive mindset that prevents them from ever really connecting with their audience and making an impact. This, to my mind, is a more subtle shade of PSA. The problem is that this guarded stance of mind is the antithesis to effective storytelling. And of course, it is the answer to the question that started this section on the vulnerability mindset.

What do I mean by vulnerability?

To be clear, vulnerability, as used here is not about breaking down uncontrollably into a saline pile of mushy emotion on stage. That just makes it weird for everyone.Neither is vulnerability disclosing information about yourself that destroys your credibility at best or has law enforcement agents waiting backstage by the time you are done at worst. No. That just makes it suck for you.

Vulnerability means true and deliberate openness and commitment... it also means sincerity

Vulnerability, as used here means true and deliberate openness and commitment - the willingness to open up yourself as the storyteller and the commitment to share your story with enthusiasm and full engagement. It means that you accept that the story may or may not land but you perform it anyway with full commitment. It also means sincerity.

The Magical Storytelling Combo

Given everything else – mastery of content and knowledge of technique -  vulnerability is often the X-factor that can tip the scales in whether a storyteller makes an impact or not. It is not difficult to see why if you recall that stories evolved to be shared primarily between friends (see the earlier point on social mindset above). From this then you can see why audiences would respond better to an open, committed and sincere speaker – the kind of person they inherently want to trust and follow. One whose very demeanour and posture says “here I am…I am with you, true to you and I am open to you”. This comes from a very deep place in the speaker’s heart and mind and, unless you have training or talent in acting, it is very difficult to fake. Therefore, you will find it much better to develop the mindset genuinely rather than trying to generate gimmicks.

Oil the Gears

Remember, storytelling mindsets oil the gears of storytelling mechanics. And with these three mindsets firmly in place, you will be in the right frame of mind to craft and perform stories that create everything from mind-changing to life-changing experiences for your audience. Whether it be an audience of one, 100 or 10,0000.Read this follow up post to learn how to start your story right.Until the next article, speak with skill.